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Puvodni zneni, bez titulku :-)

PříspěvekNapsal: 2. 2. 2009, 20:06
od keh
Jewish and Chinese Pilots

A plane leaves Los Angeles airport under the control of a Jewish captain.
His copilot is Chinese. It's the first time they've flown together, and an awkward silence between the two seems to indicate a mutual dislike.

Once they reach cruising altitude, the Jewish captain activates the auto-pilot, leans back in his seat, and mutters, 'I don't like Chinese.'

'No rike Chinese?' asks the copilot, '....why not?'
'You people bombed Pearl Harbor, that's why !'

'No, no,' the co-pilot protests, 'Chinese not bomb Peahl Hahbah! That Japanese, not Chinese.'

'Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese... doesn't matter, you're all alike!'

There's a few minutes of silence.
'I no rike Jews either!' the copilot suddenly announces.
'Oh yeah, why not?' asks the captain.

'Jews sink Titanic.'

'What? That's insane! Jews didn't sink the Titanic!' exclaims the captain, 'It was an iceberg!'

'Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg, Rosenberg mattah... all same.'


PříspěvekNapsal: 27. 2. 2009, 1:55
od cztech
The University of North Dakota trains pilots for Air China. Most coming from China speak no english and have had little experience with technology.

We were waiting for departure on the runway at Grand Forks with a UND / Air China training aircraft in front of us.

The tower called the aircraft and asked if it had current iformation Whiskey.

After a long pose, a Chinese voice replied, "No, no alcohol on board."

My english

PříspěvekNapsal: 13. 3. 2009, 18:14
od cztech
Foreign Pilot Trainee: 'Tower, please speak slowly, I am a baby in English and lonely in the cockpit' :(

PříspěvekNapsal: 17. 5. 2009, 15:17
od maskot
ATC: Cessna 1234 What are your intentions?
Cessna: To get my Commercial Pilots License and Instrument Rating.
ATC: Cessna 1234 I meant in the next five minutes not years.

PříspěvekNapsal: 17. 5. 2009, 15:19
od maskot
The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are a short-tempered lot. They not only expect one to know one's gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some
amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign "Speedbird 206":
Speedbird 206: "Top of the morning, Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of the active runway."
Ground: "Guten Morgen. You vill taxi to your gate."
The big British Airways 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.
Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"
Speedbird 206: "Stand by a moment, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now."
Ground (with arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, haff you never flown to Frankfurt before?"
Speedbird 206 (coolly): Yes, I have, actually, in 1944. In another type of Boeing, but just to drop something off. I didn't stop."